Anger Is A Gift

So on the weekend of Aug 15, 2009 I took a journey down to Tucson, AZ for an AWBT event at Pockets.I drive in late Friday 14Th and check in to my hotel. I stayed a this really nice Comfort Inn for like $35 a night. I have a great employee rate with my job lol. I get a good nights sleep and I'm extremely excited for the next day. I love going out of town for these tournaments. Its a great chance to get to know fellow women pool players in different areas.Usually all the same women come down for the AWBT events so everyone except a few are recognizable. I wake up on that beautiful Saturday morning at 7AM and get ready because I like to look my best for tournaments. If you feel good you play good that's a fact believe it or not. I go down to the front desk and I eat a yummy waffle and have some apple juice. On this trip I brought along my good pal Laron because I hate traveling alone. I don't know why but breakfast plus excitement doesn't make a good combo because I started to feel sick.
We drove to the pool hall at about 9:30AM and they weren't open yet so I took a little siesta in the back seat of my car. At 10AM they opened the pool hall doors and I walked in only to find a face that is becoming more familiar to me with time Stacy Novack. We chit chatted about pool and all the goings on in mine and hers life.I grabbed a set of balls and started to practice on a table in the back and from the looks of my ball making and stroke it seemed like it was going to be a good day for pool. I practiced until they call sign ups at about 11:30 AM. I have to interrupt my story for a second so a little bit of my mind - Why do good players show up late to everything? Why not be on time? I have noticed on various occasions that some individuals like to show up like a minuet before they close sign ups. Now if you did it like once or twice I could deal but every time! That's ridiculous! Word to all of you who are late comers NO ONE is waiting for your grand entrance! I cant stand that why not be on time. Is being on time not cool any more I must have not gotten the memo. So any ways at the players meeting I was scoping out the COMPETITION! I notice that there were only a couple girls there I think the head count for the day was 15 can you believe that what a bad turn out. So in my head I'm thinking - Ashea you've been playing really good lately and I dint think there are but 2 people here that can really have a good chance to beat you. My Brain is a motivator to me and some times shes my worst enemy. My Brain likes to mess with me while I'm playing just to test my concentration skills. So I'm already in the right mind set for the tournament right? Or is that the wrong mind set 'I cant beat all these people'. I'm not sure if its Right or wrong but the worst is yet to come.
So they call all of the first matches and I dont know about you but I really like to draw someone I can kinda dominate the first round. It gets me in stroke and boosts my confedence. I never get good draws though I always have a COMPETITOR that wants to beat me so bad that they are scarping my name in their wall and throwing drats at it. Im the bad draw queen.
So they call my match ASHEA ERDAHL vs STACY NOVACK on the live stream table. O goody I get to play number 2 in points one of the only two people that can beat me remember that. Last time I played her I got off to a 6-0 started I was playing near perfect then she came back to make it 6-5 and I hit a break and run to win. That was last time so I felt like I was kinda intimadating to her. Ok now for me the first game is always the game that determines how your going to play. The first game im playing great im focused and in control of the table until i miss a 6 in the side pocket. Now stacey is at the table and she takes her time shooting. She misses the 7 ball and leaves me an easy run out but like a dumb ass I make it so complex. Im shooting soft and not stroking the ball and I run to the nine and I get this straight in onthe rail shot. I lightly stroke the cue ball toward it and it rolls off. I couldnt believe that I missed it HOW EMBARASSING! I miss it pretty good and she goes for a bank and nails it. I never knew that a whole day could be ruined by one shot. After that game I lost all my confedence and rolls. I end up losing 7-2 YIKES! I feel like screaming when I lose because I beat myself. That has to be the worst feeling in the world. Its like all that practice was worthless. I have like 5 minutes to rekindle my thoughts before I have to play again. Now 5 minutes thats not long enough to do anything. I have to go straight in to a match with the number 1 on the tour Angel Paglian. Remeber only 2 people that I feel can beat me lol what a bad draw. I didnt even try to beat her I was just banging balls and I end up losing 7-3. What a bad day. I felt like I was about to break down and cry. I feel like the better I get the worse I get. Without me getting angry I probably would not be as dedicated to my practice and my game as Iam. Losing is a part or a stage of being a winner. I will never be a world beater unless I learn the worst part of the game.